Another Example Of Being Outcast Again

A really rough day at work again today, really really busy and no time to rest. At all. But I think I made it worse on myself because I went into work totally pissed off.

The wife came home yesterday afternoon after spending a couple of days with one of her friends. Her friend's getting re-married again, in August, I think. Not that I was told of course.

I'm not that worthy, you see. No, I heard wife and son talking about it last night as I went to bed. The invite to the wedding doesn't even have my name on it. It just says my wife's name & One Other. Wife and son, whilst talking about the wedding, went through the list of family members who could go with the wife.

Not once was my name mentioned. Not Once.

Proves a point, doesn't it?

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Things Must Change - Starting Today

I awake every day in despair, extreme doom, tinged with high anxiety. Combined now as it is with a mixture of debt chasing telephone calls, banks, credit card companies, mortgage arrears counsellors and various other debt chasing people, there is no respite.

Being in debt is one of the most humiliating and stressful encounters I have ever experienced. It's a situation that creates extreme harassment without boundaries and without respite.

Constantly, the vultures are circling around me, constantly dive bombing me in an attempt to take yet more of my money.

When you have no money, other people assume that it's because you're idle, a waste of space, or stupid. Maybe even, a combination of all three. Maybe more. I don't know.

Lets get one thing straight, right now. This debt problem I have now was caused by a business failure in 1996. This business was labour intensive, with most of it's income going on wages. That wasn't so much a problem.

Money was always tight, and I was always on the road chasing money to meet the pay runs - a situation I'm glad I don't have to go through anymore. There's nothing more humiliating than standing and waiting - often for hours - in a customer's reception for a cheque that is rightfully yours.

No, that wasn't the problem. The staff were. It started off with some of the staff using the customer's phones to make calls to expensive, pre-recorded phone lines. Then those customer's wouldn't pay their bills - but I still had to pay the wages.

Then a fairly major customer went bankrupt on me, taking me for a few thousand. In the end, after months and months of 20 hour days constantly running into one crisis after another, I ended up with depression.

And I wound the business up within 48 hours. I just couldn't take any more, any more. The killer problem was yet to surface though. My staff were self employed sub contractors. Who hadn't been paying their tax, so the Inland Revenue came after me.

They gave me a massive bill with 48 hours to pay it. I couldn't (obviously) so they made me bankrupt. I had to remortgage my house to buy it back from the taxman to save me & my family being kicked out.

And that brings me to today. I'm crippled by an extortinate mortgage that's responsible for my abysmal credit record.And, even last Friday, I had to endure another meeting with one of these mortgage arrears counsellors. Again.

I've offered to pay the mortgage at £312 per week, forever. Now, I've just got to wait to see if the mortgage company accepts my proposal. Again.

And that's where I am, and why I am, here today. My credit record is blown to pieces, and my marriage is going the same way, rapidly. I am an outcast in my own house, I am ignored, or at best, politely answered.

That's why things must change. Quickly and urgently. My plan starts here.

Need Motivation At This Very Moment? For When Things Are Going Wrong

Do you know what we all have in common? You know, the billions and billions who came before you, who used to live in the jungles of time and space.

Their adventure is over.

You know what else?

Given another chance, they’d take more risks. Not because they’d always succeed, but because from where they are now, the glory of knowing they at least tried, far exceeds any regrets of never knowing what might have been.

Are you struggling now?

The slate’s been wiped clean, the past has released its grip, and before you sparkles eternity, yearning for direction. All that lies between you and the life of your dreams is just one teeny, tiny, gentle, little rule. Only one condition, prerequisite, principle that matters.

It’s not love. It’s not God. It’s not fate, or luck, or karma. It’s not complicated or esoteric, and you needn’t sacrifice, plead, or pray to invoke it.

It’s the only rule that’s ever existed, and it’s the only one that will ever exist.

No reality can exist in its absence. For its mere existence, you are. With its existence, the power, the light, and the way are revealed. It’s your purpose to discover it, and it’s your destiny to master it. It’s the beginning, the middle, and the end. The Alpha and the Omega. The be-all and end-all of every wish, desire, and dream, and you are its keeper.

This caveat of all caveats is that absolutely nothing can be anything until it is first imagined. Thoughts become things, nothing else does. And so it’s the thoughts you choose from here on out that will become the things and events of your life, forevermore.

It is written in stone. There’s no other way.

It’s your ticket to anywhere you can dream of. Your passport to abundance, health, and friendships. The key to the palace of your wildest dreams.

Your thoughts, and your thoughts alone, will set you in motion. Your thoughts will yield the inspiration, creativity, and determination you need. Your thoughts will orchestrate the magic and inspire the Universe. Your thoughts will carry you to the finish line if you just keep thinking them. Never give up. Never waiver, doubt, or ask.

Aim high.

That you’ve even received this Note, that you’re able to read it through, means you are so close. So extraordinarily close. The hardest work has been done. The wars have already been waged. The lessons have already been learned.

The journey, now, is for home.

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Welcome To Me!

This is my my first post, and I hope, that through time, I will make friends as I catalogue daily my actions and the plans I'm working on to get debt free, financially secure, and eventually, happy with my life.

Thanks to Paul at poundslammer.com for letting me host my blog on his server.

It is very unlikely that you will get to know who I am through this blog; the issues I will write about are extremely sensitive, to me and my family. There will never be any photos of me at all anywhere on this blog. This blog shall be the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and I intend it to form a daily record of my constant struggle against debt and a failing marriage.

But, I will say that I am 46 years of age, and I am English, living in Norfolk, (England). I am married, with 4 grown up children, of whom, only the baby is still with us (She's 18 this year).

This, then, is my story. I have no idea what the future holds, or how long my future is going to be. Wish me luck.

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